Some people are simply better at focusing on their strengths and feeling confident more often than others.
But I think for the majority of us, confidence is something that can disappear in a heartbeat if we allow our minds to buy into any kind of negative self concept.
If you think it comes from lack of experience or talent you can kill those thoughts now. Take a look at pro athletes. Even the most elite players sometimes hit a wall of self doubt and they go through a slump. If it can happen to the most elite of performers, you damn well better believe it can happen to anyone, including me and you.
For me, my confidence threshold has been quite fragile throughout the years. As I develop myself and gain more success towards my bigger goals in life, I find my confidence strengthening and becoming harder to shake (a good thing).
But I can still have all of it come crashing down if I allow my mind to dwell on negative influences (not a good thing).
Before I became an entrepreneur, I was a corporate trainer assigned to teach 2,3 and 4 day technical training programs to clients. Sometimes the class would be as large as 25 students. It wasn’t the hardest audience in the world but you also had to know your stuff and be well prepared to handle any of 1000 questions that may pop up during the training.
At the end of each course, the students were given evaluation forms to provide feedback both on the course materials and the instructor. I used to await these results with both excitement and fear.
Excited for positive feedback. Afraid of criticism.
As my career developed, the number of extremely positive reviews grew while the critical ones all but disappeared.
I remember one particular course where 14 of the 15 students absolutely loved the course and gave me the highest rating possible. One student even requested me to return as the instructor for the follow up training!
The other student was a bit of a pain to work with and clearly held a grudge about having to attend the training. His review was full of harsh judgment and criticism both towards me personally and the course in general.
As you can imagine, I could not enjoy any of the great feedback because all I could focus on was the sting and insult of the negative review. Even though any external observer could look at those reviews and know that I had done an awesome job, I couldn’t enjoy any of that because I was stuck dwelling on Mr. Negativity.
I began to question myself thinking, “maybe this guy was right and I AM a lousy trainer?”
Eventually the sting of these situations would wear off and I would continue on with my job. But unfortunately, I would often allow myself to be robbed of the satisfaction of doing a great job because a small percentage of people didn’t like it.
As the years have gone by and specifically since becoming a business owner, I have developed a better strategy to ensure I can celebrate my successes more and ignore the “haters” so to speak.
The antidote… a simple success log.
Specifically, I use something called my “Success Log Evolving List“.
Every time I get a nice comment from a customer, a colleague, affiliate, friend or family member I make a note of it in an app called Evernote.Using the same note, I “evolve” it over time adding more and more positive feedback as I receive it. Negative feedback gets noted for things to work on… but it gets noted in my own words as basic to dos and then the negative stuff gets deleted.
The positive feedback, however, gets pasted right into Evernote verbatim, so I can read the uplifting input any time I feel my confidence wavering.
Even if you consider yourself a high confidence individual, a simple system like this will only elevate you to even higher levels! Try it out